Empty Heart

FeaturedEmpty Heart

My darling blog that I have neglected forever and ever. I’m so glad to be back here.
I think it’s only right that I start with an explanation as to why I stopped (well, paused) blogging.
I stopped because I was distracted. I stopped because I became lazy and complacent with my walk with God. I stopped because I had nothing to give. And trust me, you can’t give what you don’t have. I’ll share some of the things I’ve learnt in this time.

Admitting that I am struggling is something I struggle with. I like everyone to think that I have it all together. I like to tell myself I have it all together, even when I don’t. I realize, however, that this only comes from a place of pride. I do not have it all together. If I did, I wouldn’t need God. It is in my weakness that He is glorified.
No wonder Paul says he takes pleasure in his weaknesses. Because weaknesses are avenues for God to show up and show out.

I am absolutely nothing without God. Without God, I am purposeless. I am empty. I am like chaff, blown around by the wind. I am a hot mess. There’s too many gaps within me that only God can fill.
Without God, I get distracted. I look to other things, people, activities to fill the gap that only God can. And this is a dangerous place to be in, because you’ll keep trying harder and harder to fill God-sized gaps with the wrong puzzle pieces. The end result is an empty, frustrated, what’s-the-point feeling because nothing you try is ever going to fit. God alone can truly satisfy the longings of my (and your) soul.

I can’t give what I don’t have. Scripture says

“Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45)

Another one says

“Out of your belly shall flow rivers of living waters.” (John 7:38)

It is what abounds in your heart that will come out of your mouth. Keyword – abounds.
The water in your belly must be so full, that it starts to flow out. Keyword(s) – so full.
Basically, I cannot manifest God until I am so full of Him that it is forced to come out. And what happens when I am constantly giving out and not spending enough time in the secret place to refill? I run dry. My fuel gauge is on empty. I have nothing else left to write about.
There’s nothing more important than your secret place with God. Your prayer closet. Or whatever else it is called in this our Christianese. It is in this place of intimacy with God that you are empowered to truly live for Him.

One more thing I have learnt is… I cannot run from God. He doesn’t let me. In a way that only God can, He draws me back to Him. Always. This is a constant.
What can separate me from the love of God? Nothing.
God just always arranges it somehow. He sends me signs, He sends me people, He speaks directly to my heart. I am convinced that this God I serve will never let me go. And He will never let you go.

It is my prayer that we never lose our wonder. It is my prayer that our eyes are stayed always on Jesus. It is my prayer that we experience a new level of intimacy with Him. It is my prayer that God graces us to be more intentional in our walk with Him. I feel an urgency in the Spirit, and I pray that God aligns our life with His will for us. Amen.

If you’re in any way struggling with your relationship with God, and you want someone to pray with, to join their faith with yours, or just to talk to, please reach out to me. I’m available.❤️

Why Was I Appalled?

Hello my darlings!
Another post just for the ladies. (Am I being partial and reaching out to more of a female audience with this blog?) If I am, I apologise guys.

Anyway. Something happened to me a few days ago. And today I was prompted from within to share the experience.

I was just there on my own, tweeting about my King when this guy sent me a direct message. We spoke for a while, a regular conversation really. We spoke about God too for a bit, no problem there.
And thennnnn. Thennnn. Then he made a comment.

*wait for it*

*drumrolls, please*

HE CALLED ME SEXY!

I think his actual words were “your avatar is sexy”
But yes, you get my point? (I hope)

Was that what you were expecting? I hope you aren’t disappointed anyway. (After all the “efizzy” and all)
I just need you guys to understand, the way it affected me.

Now. The old me would accept it as a compliment. I would be thrilled, honestly. HE CALLED ME SEXY. I’m winning!

Was that my reaction? No. It was the opposite. I was appalled. Genuinely appalled.

Why was I appalled?

That’s the point of this post. Why was I appalled? (Haha I just figured this works as the title of the post as well)

As I’m writing this post, I’m also asking the Holy Spirit this question.
Why was I appalled?

I was appalled because I felt downgraded. I felt put down. I mean, I am a Proverbs 31 woman in progress. I want to be seen as that. And not just “sexy” I am more than my outward beauty! Look at me as the woman of God that I am.
Also, and most importantly – I felt like I had sinned. I put this picture up and even though it was only a selfie, it was provocative enough to cause him to think it was sexy.
And when he said this picture was sexy, he could have been thinking lustful thoughts. That really is the prerogative behind a hot/ sexy comment.
We all know that thinking lustful thoughts is a sin.

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (‭Matthew‬ ‭5‬:‭28‬ NIV)

Not just that, but I had caused him to sin with that picture. Which in itself is a sin.

It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall. (‭Romans‬ ‭14‬:‭21‬ NIV)

And so my feeling appalled was because of the Holy Spirit’s conviction on what I had done. It was a lesson, and I had to learn from it. Nobody told me to delete the picture.

I know you may be thinking “it’s never that deep boo” and “it’s really never that serious.” But it is. It really is.
I acknowledge that sometimes people say sexy, just for the sake of it. Without actually thinking lustful thoughts.

I also acknowledge that a guy can look at a fully covered girl, and still have lustful thoughts.
A girl can be fully clothed decently from head to toe, and a guy will still find it sexy. This is true. And this is why guys need to learn self restraint.
All I’m trying to say is you do your part and make sure that as the daughter of God you are, you do not contribute to this in anyway.

The lesson in this –
It has become such a norm to drop “thirst traps” all over social media. Fashionable is beginning to mean lesser and lesser clothes.
You are a daughter of the Most High. And so, you act like one.
Be careful that you do not dress in such a way that will cause a brother to sin or lust over you.
It might not even be in your dressing, you might be all covered up.
It can also be in that sexy pout in a picture. (The picture in question, I was all covered up)

Let the Holy Spirit direct you in choosing the clothes that you wear everyday.
Keep asking yourself, will Jesus be pleased by what I’m wearing? Will Jesus be pleased by the picture I’m putting up on Instagram?

And never forget the child of who you are. You are the daughter of a King.

I really pray the Holy Spirit communicates this message clearly through me. And that you; my darling, learn from it. In Jesus Name, Amen.