Before I say much, I want to thank you for everything you are to me. You are my friend, my father, my comforter and peace, my joy and my strength. You’re the song on my lips and the Rock I cling to. You really are everything to me.
I know my recent neglect breaks your heart as it does mine. I am sorry. As you know, I’m back home for summer and honestly, it’s been one struggle after another. Countless times my flesh has overpowered my spirit and I know it is as a result of not feeding my spirit. I must admit, my spirit is malnourished and weak. I haven’t been eating and digesting your word which is life to me. I’ve merely tasted it on some days and on other days, I’ve had no appetite whatsoever. I’ve let myself be deprived of my joy, strength and peace that comes from you and created space for anger, worry, pride and the idea of self-reliance to creep in.
When I look at my shortcomings, I want to run and hide like Adam and Eve did in Genesis. But you show me day in day out that you’re having none of that. That you love me too much to let me go. YOUR LOVE AND GRACE SURROUNDS ME ALL AROUND. When I think I’m running away, I find myself eventually running into your always open arms. This holiday our relationship has been one sided and the fault lies with me. I’ve been too silent but I hear you always. You still choose to speak to me, you still use me, you still protect me and shower me with numerous blessings. You’re so beautiful in all your ways.
Oh God, I actually want to just shout to the world how GREAT you are. This holiday has been a sober one for me. I’ve been learning, you are teaching me yourself and sending many of your children to share the knowledge you’ve given them. You’re teaching me that I am a soldier in your army therefore, I’ll always have work to do. A message to deliver, people to help, intercessory prayers to raise and your word to impart. I think what holds me back is the belief that I’m not even there yet so what right do I have to open my mouth. Hearing you tell me over and over again that while I’m working for you, you’re working in me so that my light can shine brighter before men who will in turn give you glory is very comforting. Thank you dear Father.
Relationships have different phases and regardless of how rocky ours may get, you’re still God and you do not change. You’ll never give up on us and you’ll give me the strength to fight for us when I entirely depend on you. Another important lesson you’re teaching me in this period of my walk with you. I forget this so many times and really all I should do when I doubt is to look back and see how good and faithful you are.
Lastly Yahweh, I want to say thank you for changing my circle of friends. Thank you for moving in the lives of people around me and drawing them closer to you. I see you changing hearts and you alone deserves the glory. Thank you for building young men and women who call upon your name day and night and make a daily effort to live for you. I ask that you keep them on your path and you give them everything they need to continually shine for Christ and Christ alone all the days of their lives. I ask that you help us all live for you, to be totally sold out to spreading LOVE (YOU) to the ends of this world so all men may be saved. Thank you for your Spirit in me. I’m hearing your voice louder than ever and fellowship with you is sweet! Oh yeah, thanks for lifting my writer’s block and helping me with the talent you’ve given me.
Thanks for always being there. You are my King. I love you Abba.