Dear God (CG)

Dear God,
Errm I’ve finally gotten an opportunity  to talk to you, it’s quiet serene here. I know you love me so much and then you have a lot of perfect plan for me but the thing is that I just can’t fathom what’s going on and what’s wrong with me… I’m struggling with a lot of things right now to be honest and I know you are aware of that.
The more I think I’m getting closer to you it seems like I’m taking more steps backwards; it’s just like a step forward and then five steps backward.
I feel like I’m going to give up soon, like I have gotten to my breaking point.
Everybody thinks I’m fine but deep down here in my heart am beginning to question my faith – I know You exist and You’ve performed a lot of miracles through me (then) but I still don’t understand why am in so much doubt right now;
I find myself asking questions like “Do you actually love me?!” For crying out loud, you do but what then is going wrong? Why is my faith wavering??.
Yes I’m a sinner but I need Your help too- I really need to overcome all these worldy, carnal stuffs I really need to. I’m so scared that I may not be ready when You come and that’s something I never hope would ever happen to me, never!!
Please take my hands Lord I’m ready, I’m ready to start a new leaf, I’m ready to start afresh from the bottom.I just hope it’s not too late.
I love you so much because even through my inconsistencies you’ve still been merciful to me.. I love you. Help me to love you more cos I know there is still room for that. Btw Dad I’m so happy to see all my friends experiencing the joy that comes with getting closer to You and knowing You more.
Please if there’s anything I’m going to ask for, it’s that you sustain them in the faith so they can run this Christian race to the very end.
I’m going to stop here for now…waiting for your reply💕


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