Why Was I Appalled?

Hello my darlings!
Another post just for the ladies. (Am I being partial and reaching out to more of a female audience with this blog?) If I am, I apologise guys.

Anyway. Something happened to me a few days ago. And today I was prompted from within to share the experience.

I was just there on my own, tweeting about my King when this guy sent me a direct message. We spoke for a while, a regular conversation really. We spoke about God too for a bit, no problem there.
And thennnnn. Thennnn. Then he made a comment.

*wait for it*

*drumrolls, please*


I think his actual words were “your avatar is sexy”
But yes, you get my point? (I hope)

Was that what you were expecting? I hope you aren’t disappointed anyway. (After all the “efizzy” and all)
I just need you guys to understand, the way it affected me.

Now. The old me would accept it as a compliment. I would be thrilled, honestly. HE CALLED ME SEXY. I’m winning!

Was that my reaction? No. It was the opposite. I was appalled. Genuinely appalled.

Why was I appalled?

That’s the point of this post. Why was I appalled? (Haha I just figured this works as the title of the post as well)

As I’m writing this post, I’m also asking the Holy Spirit this question.
Why was I appalled?

I was appalled because I felt downgraded. I felt put down. I mean, I am a Proverbs 31 woman in progress. I want to be seen as that. And not just “sexy” I am more than my outward beauty! Look at me as the woman of God that I am.
Also, and most importantly – I felt like I had sinned. I put this picture up and even though it was only a selfie, it was provocative enough to cause him to think it was sexy.
And when he said this picture was sexy, he could have been thinking lustful thoughts. That really is the prerogative behind a hot/ sexy comment.
We all know that thinking lustful thoughts is a sin.

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (‭Matthew‬ ‭5‬:‭28‬ NIV)

Not just that, but I had caused him to sin with that picture. Which in itself is a sin.

It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall. (‭Romans‬ ‭14‬:‭21‬ NIV)

And so my feeling appalled was because of the Holy Spirit’s conviction on what I had done. It was a lesson, and I had to learn from it. Nobody told me to delete the picture.

I know you may be thinking “it’s never that deep boo” and “it’s really never that serious.” But it is. It really is.
I acknowledge that sometimes people say sexy, just for the sake of it. Without actually thinking lustful thoughts.

I also acknowledge that a guy can look at a fully covered girl, and still have lustful thoughts.
A girl can be fully clothed decently from head to toe, and a guy will still find it sexy. This is true. And this is why guys need to learn self restraint.
All I’m trying to say is you do your part and make sure that as the daughter of God you are, you do not contribute to this in anyway.

The lesson in this –
It has become such a norm to drop “thirst traps” all over social media. Fashionable is beginning to mean lesser and lesser clothes.
You are a daughter of the Most High. And so, you act like one.
Be careful that you do not dress in such a way that will cause a brother to sin or lust over you.
It might not even be in your dressing, you might be all covered up.
It can also be in that sexy pout in a picture. (The picture in question, I was all covered up)

Let the Holy Spirit direct you in choosing the clothes that you wear everyday.
Keep asking yourself, will Jesus be pleased by what I’m wearing? Will Jesus be pleased by the picture I’m putting up on Instagram?

And never forget the child of who you are. You are the daughter of a King.

I really pray the Holy Spirit communicates this message clearly through me. And that you; my darling, learn from it. In Jesus Name, Amen.

6 thoughts on “Why Was I Appalled?

  1. Hi…My name is Rhoda. This really does apply to me alot cause I hear that practically all the time. Guys see me and they already have this perception about me,I started my Christian walk early last year and trust me its not been at all smooth,I had to change so many things but it was cool cause I didn’t even have interest in it anymore. But my pastors never stopped complaining about my dressing which by the way was strange cause I wear clothes my size or rather fitted and sometimes they hinted that I was misleading some people and it really bothered me a lot cause I felt like am doing the best I can here but your post just made it clear and I appreciate that,thank you. Beautiful write-ups by the way,am so happy to see a fellow Proverbs 31 woman in progress…cheers


    1. Aww babygirl. Thank God for your beautiful life!
      When it comes to modesty, just do your part and leave the rest. There are men who would still lust after a woman fully covered from head to toe in sackcloth.
      Stay blessed, and you can always hit me up whenever you need someone to talk to xx ❤


  2. ” I had caused him to sin with that picture. Which in itself is a sin.”

    No it’s not. You didn’t cause him to sin. He caused himself to sin because he had not learned restraint or self-control, which isn’t your fault but his. The real problem with that logic is that it blames you when you are not at fault. Let’s say a man is attracted to your hair – would a proper response to this attraction be to shave off all your hair, dye it another color, change it’s length, or completely cover it in his presence? Just last week I was listening to a radio station that mentioned that the boys of a modest-thinking religious group had ‘wandering eyes’ whenever they were in the presence of ladies that wore normal clothing. The fault here isn’t the ladies for going about their normal day, the fault was in the parents of the boys that never explained to them the concept of self-control.


    1. I do understand and agree with what you’re saying completely.
      All I’m trying to do with this post is to encourage girls to do their part in being modestly dressed.
      Let there be no blame on the part of the girl.
      There definitely are higher chances of a guy lusting after a girl that is indecently dressed, rather than that of a modestly clad one.
      Thank you so much for that, God bless you xx


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